Honestly, I quite like the new McDonalds ads. I haven’t seen the TV campaign (I assume there is one) and I’m sure the radio version’s a bit shit, but the billboards are neat. In them, I recognise the branch I worked at for two years. My first job. I fucking hated it.

But that bunch of shared experiences around a shared mono-cultural reference point, that rings true. There’s no need to talk about quality in the ad – McDonalds just is. And of course you’ve been on a date there, and of course you’ve had one in a hurry on the way home, and of course your parents treated you to one. Because it’s there.

I won’t actually go to one though, despite the ads. I mean, I worked there.

Three slogans and photographs I’d love to see but won’t…

‘The chip-fryer splash scream’
‘The cleaning out the playground grimace’
‘The hurry child to the loo in time dash’